It is not love that lives for three years, but falling in love. But we still have to come to love...
Did you know that there are certain stages, after passing through a couple reaches true love. And they need about 12 years for that!
Many couples do not even reach that stage, but run away as soon as the the butterflies in my stomach disappear.
Everyone wants to live happily ever after, but not everyone is ready to put in the effort.
Although if you understand that crises are a normal stage of couple development, you can prevent many divorces!
What are these stages?
1. Of course, the first "Initial crush".
When hormones are raging, people do not see the white world and all thoughts are only about that one.
Did you know by the way that the cocktail of those hormones is equivalent to drugs, a person is in approximately the same euphoric state🫠 Let's not forget that those hormones are addictive.
We deliberately ignore all the shortcomings of our partner and think that we have found that soul mate.
This period lasts from 3 months to 2 years.
2. Next comes "Oversaturation".
Everything is still calm, but there are no longer those butterflies in the stomach. You've had your fill, you're getting bored. The period is like the calm before the storm.
3. But after that a storm comes.
The "Strife and Loathing" stage begins. Everything that seemed so cute before starts to annoy you. You no longer hold back any of your grievances.
At this stage, people often break up, because they believe that this partner is not suitable for them and it will be better with another. Although they usually end up in the same situation later.
But if you go through this period together, talk about your dissatisfaction, reach a consensus, then the couple reaches a new, deeper level.
4. This is where the "Patience and Acceptance" stage begins. A new turn in the relationship, when the couple learns to accept each other as they are, feelings are renewed. The couple begins to understand that quarrels are just a stage that they can overcome together and reach a new level. And also the fact that it is impossible to change a partner and all the focus should be on yourself...
5. Only at this stage does the couple begin to approach love. It is called "Service to your partner"
When we do not expect something from our partner, but on the contrary we want to serve him, make him happy. When both move from self-centeredness to the fact that they see the other person, with his strengths and weaknesses, and are ready to love him for who he really is, and not the illusions created in their head.
6. And when at the previous stage you served each other, your relationship became even deeper, filled with trust and gratitude - you slowly became each other's true friends, the closest people who will always listen and support. This stage is called "Friendship"
7. And this friendship, in turn, grows into a real "Love".
People go to this stage for 12 or even more years. It is like a reward for the fact that the couple learned to choose each other regardless of life's troubles and disagreements, learned to selflessly serve each other.
Such love does not become weaker, but only grows over time. There is no place for scandals, intrigues and investigations. There is quiet, permanent happiness, compatible goals and plans for life.
Of course, each couple is unique. Not everyone comes to this even after many years, if they have not passed one of the stages. Some may get stuck on the 3rd and live that way for the rest of their lives.
Both - personal crises and crises in a couple should be handled correctly and not be afraid to go through them, because they are part of life...
