You know, very often we stamp people, endowing them with some kind of character traits simply by their appearance, by the manner of speaking, by the look.
Although you must admit, often such a kind one who chirps, calls everyone suns and dear, then turns out to be a mean, envious, cold person. But the one who rudely and directly says what she thinks of you, will also give a couple of bad words in addition, will be the first to come to the rescue and support in a difficult situation.
Everything is so abstract and relative, we divide the world into black and white, forgetting that there are other colors. We do not know what path the person went through, what made him such a hedgehog, under the thorns of which a sensitive and kind heart is hidden.
Often, having experienced some painful moments, there is a fear of emotional closeness. A person does not allow others to come near him because he does not want to become attached. This is an insane fear of being rejected, that you will be hurt.
Such people choose freedom, or subconsciously look for a partner whom they really do not like and are not afraid of losing.
From such men and women you can hear: "Let's just have sex between us and nothing more."
They cannot tolerate pain, so they always keep their distance, do not get attached, and do not fall in love, and any attempt to get closer from the other side is perceived as a violation of personal space.
They run into other addictions and most often it is workaholism, when all the energy is spent in work and achieving high goals. This is compensation. Ever wonder why successful people are often lonely?
"human needs human", but this need is suppressed and the person lives with a cold heart, denying what is missing most.
This is because in her soul she does not believe that she can be truly loved, just like that, without any conditions. Therefore, at the slightest suspicion of some kind of feeling, the distance increases and the person moves away until it hurts.
They pay a lot to live without pain. This is not to be, but to seem. This is a conscious rejection of real feelings, intimacy, happiness.
The most important thing here is to understand this fear and start working with it.
There is nothing better than loving and being loved.
It's worth it to get through and work through this pain!